Monday, December 9, 2013


Sometimes it is really weird to think that on the mission you only have just over 100 p-days. When I think of that I think, "Oh monkeys! My mission's already almost over! NOOOOO!!!!" 

You may be thinking that I'm exaggerating a little, but I'm not. 5555555.

So yesterday I had my third baptism. ซ. กระแต, a friend of a recent convert. She is a little ball of energy. But in our branch we had four baptisms. I personally baptized one of our investigator's Grandmother. This was the first time I ever baptized anybody! The hard part is, you have to use people's real names, and in Thai, people's names are LOOOOONG. I baptized sister จัน, but I had to say, janjiiraa chugawat, (plus tones). I'm amazed I remembered her name! She's a champ. She came from the hope church, and is bringing us referrals like crazy. She holds little family home evenings where over 10 of her hope church friends come over and she teaches them about the gospel! We're set up to baptize her grandson next week. He's way funny. He's the kid wearing the minion shirt in the picture. Oh! And brother แซม baptized the three others! I'm so proud of him! One week he gets baptized, next confirmed, next gets the priesthood, and next baptizes three people! And he helps the missionaries teach and invite almost every day! 

Okay I'm going to tell a story.

Some of you may think that Elders Quorum is crazy in Utah.... :)  It's way hilarious in Thailand.

Yesterday, Elder Wilko and I were sitting there explaining what was going on to a new investigator while the teacher was teaching.

The people I name as "peanut gallery" were the men sitting behind us making comments about everything the whole time. "elder" just means any guy who's in the room.

This all happened in Thai, so I apologize if my translation is a little bit blunt, but that's still just Thai. Here we go!!

   Act I
   Scene I
   Setting: Elder's quorum, Udonthani, Thailand.

Teacher: There are three types of members in this church....
Peanut Gallery 1: Homosexuals.
Elder Wilko and Elder Osborn: laughing too hard to hear the other two types of members

Scene II

Teacher: What is the first great commandment in the law?
Elder 1: Love God with all your heart.
Peanut Gallery 2: ENDURE!!!
Elder 2: Love your fr--- gets cut off
Peanut Gallery 1: starts singing some random irrelevant pop song
Peanut Gallery 2: ENDURE!!

 - Close curtains -

Scene III

Teacher: How long were the children of Israel in the wilderness?
Elders 1, 2, and 4: 40 yea--- cut off again
Teacher: Answering his own question and cutting off the elders with his answer --- 400 YEARS.

 - Close curtains - 
  - จบ -

I hope you enjoyed that story. We were crying of laughter the entire time. :)

This is Elder Wilko's narration of what happened at church yesterday. If you combine both of our stories you get the whole picture of our usual sunday. haha.

"Let me tell you how Sundays in Thailand work.... Well all the cattle gather together in the barn at around 1 pm (on a good day) for sacrament meeting then because the primary program gets done 25 minutes early they open the fence and all the cattle go runnin every which way. Some stay in the barn/go to class , some go outside to graze in the pasture/eat some grub, some high tail it out of dodge to take their second removed cousins grandson to school. Well around 2:20pm farmer Wilko and farmer Osborn wonder where oh where have the cattle all gone and then for the next hour and a half we play woody's round up and make sure all the animals get safely back to the barn."

This picture is of a security guard taking a nap on the job in the middle of one of the bigger streets in Udon. Similar to if he set up his watch out stand in the turning lane on University and University in Provo and just decides to take a nap. We like this guy.

So you know those three wheeled vehicles I've sent a few pictures of us on? We found a way pimped out one the other night. Usually they have a little underglow or a light on it somewhere, to attract people's attention, but this one just went all out. The picture doesn't even do it justice.This thing was flashing and changing colors and it's brightness and glory defy all description. It hurt to look at this thing! Not only was it bright, it had huge speakers in the back and was blasting isaan music.

Oh! Also, Brother tong, (our recent convert who is way excited about everything), after church we found him eating some carrot cake, he told us over and over, "This cake is from God!! It is truly delicious!"

Sister กระแต and brother แซม yesterday. :)

Okay. I think I'm done for today. :)
See ya next week!

Elder Osborn
เอ็ลเดอร์ ออสบอร์น

In a seperate email:

Hey dad! Sorry I didn't really send you a good email last week! You deserved one, but guess what!? one of the biggest holidays in thailand is father's day. :) 
That was on Thursday. So I took a picture with this father's day sign right outside of the church. You're the best dad in the world! I love you so much. Thanks for being such a good example to me and raising me well. Thank you for everything. 
I love you!

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